I know.

Sometimes I wonder what all of these cloudy days and so many hours of working are going to do. Being a missionary has become a beautiful thing, and most of the time I'm living outside the boundaries of my comfort zone. Everything else has been stripped away and it's just me and the gospel about to face everything I don't know about yet. I know so well how to give the gospel to other people now. I know how to explain to people the healing power of the Atonement and the sweet peace of personal revelation from their Heavenly Father. I know how to say things that can't be expressed in words. I know miracles are real. I know that God hears prayers. But these things can only go so far. There's a point when eternal progression depends on ability to apply. I feel like the brother of Jared. The Lord asked him to build barges-- he did it. The Lord asked me to go on a mission-- I did it. And I presented my ideas and did my best and offered Him these 16 small stones. I'm about to carry them to the top of the mountain and say what the brother of Jared said, "O Lord, thou hast given us a commandment that we must call upon thee, O Lord, that thou hast all power, and can do whatsoever thou wilt for the benefit of man; therefore touch these stones, O Lord, with they finger, and prepare them that they may shine forth in darkness; and they shall shine forth unto us in the vessels which we have prepared that we may have light while we shall cross the sea." Even though this sea is almost crossed, there's a bigger one. I know that there have been people that needed me to explain the gospel to them. But what Heavenly Father wanted me to know from all this is that He loves me. And He loved me enough to prepare me and then tell me to go even though I didn't know how to do any of the things I know how to do now. He makes great efforts to express His love to each child. This week has been a lot of things. A lot of reflecting, a lot of worrying, a lot of fighting to trust and be calm. I'm really scared. I'm really excited. I'm really grateful. But there's power in application that overtakes and erases everything else. Generalities of God's love don't change anything. Personal application comes when you believe He loves you. And you give yourself full permission to accept His love. That's why living the gospel changes lives. I've seen it over and over again. It's true. I know that it's true. I love my mission. I wouldn't trade it for anything. I can't wait to be with you guys again. I love you the very most.

Love,

Søster Pyne